Tara Schuster

"The odds are a poison I no longer drink."

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:14:02 -0500

“The odds are a poison I no longer drink.”

I’m late to the game but glad to be here.

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 19:14:49 -0500

I’m late to the game but glad to be here.

Alexandra and I come clean with the lies we tell all of the...

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:35:57 -0500

Alexandra and I come clean with the lies we tell all of the time. Also: I give my end of life demands. And they are many.

A new Zooey video! In this very holiday edition, Ms. Deschanel...

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:48:08 -0500

A new Zooey video! In this very holiday edition, Ms. Deschanel tackles her fears.

This is the next episode in our web series about 3 girls trying...

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 11:54:43 -0400

This is the next episode in our web series about 3 girls trying to foment revolution in NYC. Even revolutions can get bogged down in committee.

ladiesoftherevolution:

The revolution gives you: The Next Episode. Watch as Alexandra beats all the odds to begin the meeting.

Be afraid. ladiesoftherevolution: The Ladies of The Revolution

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 15:03:00 -0400

Be afraid.

ladiesoftherevolution:

The Ladies of The Revolution

OMG - I LOVE YOU <3

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 00:20:00 -0400

I have been told this by many a girl. I LOVE YOU. Whether they loved, hated, or felt indifferently towards me. Whether drunk, high, or puking at the window of a cab. In a text, over brunch, on my Facebook wall. As a member of the society of girls, I have had the high pleasure of being told this by ladies who most certainly do not, nor will ever, love me.

Now, I know that “Shit White Girls Say” has already trode (making that a word- NOW) this hyperbolic ground but - ALLOW me to say the following: I don’t care if you do “love” me or just “like” me - but when someone says they LOVE me - 9 times out of ten - it feels great! Girls get all kinds of flack for over-emoting, over-emphasizing, going over-board: seeming fake. And I just want to be one voice that says: while I am smart enough to decipher real from fake, I’m also just needy enough to perk up when told I am loved. EVEN if it’s just a “<3 YOU. ” So YOU DO YOU girl-i-just-met-wearing-all-spanx-crying-about-ex-over-mimosa. I will proudly pose in as many pout-y pictures as your iPhone will hold.

The only people I don’t want to tell me that they “love me” are the homeless. All of them.

This is the second episode of a web series I co-wrote and...

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 15:06:08 -0400

This is the second episode of a web series I co-wrote and co-directed (a whole lot of co-ing going on here), I <3 REVOLUTION. In it, the most level headed of the insurgent/extremist girls explains what the revolution is all about and it has NOTHING to do with Karl Marx or the artist Bono. I love the way Alice takes on a Palin-esque tone in this piece and the way the jump cutting highlights just how sutured the revolution is.

I have spent 2 years working on this web series (most of that...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 14:57:00 -0400

I have spent 2 years working on this web series (most of that time was just dithering/unable to make choices) BUT NOW it is finally being released into the world! Fun facts: I barely recognize myself in the video!, this was filmed in The Forbes building (!!!- such an amazing playground), this really does predate Occupy. We’ll be putting out a new episode every Wed. for the next month! Written/directed/performed in collaboration with my <3s, Alice Winslow and Alexandra Panzer. May the three of us unite for always.

ladiesoftherevolution:

OUR FIRST EPISODE OF DOCUMENTING OUR MOVEMENT. PLEASE WATCH FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

ladiesoftherevolution: Girls, Young Women and Middle-Aged...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 01:29:25 -0400

ladiesoftherevolution:

Girls, Young Women and Middle-Aged Mothers,

If you were wondering what would be a good thing to want to smell like, here is your answer: The Woman Behind the Almost-Man.

Let ME tell you what you SHOULD want to smell like: THE SMOLDERING ASHES OF THE OLD WORLD ORDER.

Justin Bieber AND Macy’s are already sworn enemies of the revolution (1/31/10 and 5/13/97, respectively), otherwise this would certainly merit a citation for VIOLATION of the Perfume Defense System’s Code of Ethics, as regulated by Chief Fragrance Minister, Tara Schuster.

Nora Ephron made me want to write: to write better, wittier, to...

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 23:17:09 -0400

Nora Ephron made me want to write: to write better, wittier, to be more honest, and tell a better story. She made it look effortless and challenged me to give writing everything I have. She also made me laugh. She also made me feel less alone. Over the past year, I’ve been thinking about myself as a comedy writer. A lot of that thought is, “you can’t do this because you’re not interesting and not good enough,” but on rare occasions I can allow myself to think, “what would Nora do?” Would she just give up and spiral into self doubt? No way in hell. I was even thinking of reaching out to her - to tell her how much I adored her - and seeing if I couldn’t get an audience with such a genius. But now I can’t. I thought over and over, “who do I know, who knows someone else, who knows someone’s cousin, to get a letter to Nora.” And now I can’t. And now I won’t get to read any more of her endlessly funny books, or listen to her perfectly crafted dialogue. So what would Nora do?

Fiona Apple is a Goddess. Her performance at The Governors Ball...

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 00:08:08 -0400

Fiona Apple is a Goddess. Her performance at The Governors Ball this weekend was revelatory. She thrashed out her music as if her skeleton were trying to escape her body. She looked pained as she sang but the power of her voice made me feel emboldened. She laughed when the crowd screamed for her, as if shy, and then smiled as if deeply moved by the crowd’s love and desire for her. SWEET JESUS was she good.

I think this is a very fair offer to Hillary Rodham...

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:23:10 -0400

I think this is a very fair offer to Hillary Rodham Clinton.

ladiesoftherevolution:

Dear Madame Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton:

WE, THE REVOLUTION, are very discerning, and hard to please people. We have the highest level of taste (based on extensive study and practice of culture), and RARELY do we ever “like” something. Much less “love” something. SO - you will find it highly flattering that we have to tell you this: we love you int his moment. Letting your hair grow out was a TOP CHOICE and it is VERY baller that you can deliver a solemn oath while wearing sunglasses from the Elton John Collection. EVEN THOUGH we think you stole some of our ideas (ESP in regards to OPERATION GERONIMO - we have proof), we have decided to tell you that we think you are cool. AND IF you passed a series of tests (physical, mental, etc), we MAY grant you a high position in our egalitarian hierarchy after the coup. SO. We are just putting it out there. You may be contacted by us. BUT. Also maybe not. SO. You will just have to wait and see.

Human Microphone

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:14:59 -0400

Today I was alerted to the term “human microphone” which at first glance made me think of “human centipede.” Upon closer investigation a human microphone is when people shout what you’ve said thus creating an artificial echo. Two things. 1) I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE IS A TERM FOR THAT! And! That the term has a wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_microphone. 2) This is a thing? I thought modern technology had already solved this grave problem.

If this is even remotely true than I will marry a gay boy with a...

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:09:22 -0400

If this is even remotely true than I will marry a gay boy with a one syllable name or a girl who loves Ice Blendeds and Brittany Spears. SEXY TIME!

twiggish:

Lord I hope not…

oh- no big deal- cool guys on cool bikes - who do cool comedy....

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:43:35 -0400

oh- no big deal- cool guys on cool bikes - who do cool comedy. NBD.

scottaukerman:

set shot from the episode premiering this Friday at 10pm/9c on IFC!

liezlwashere:

Comedy Bang! Bang! on IFC | 02.24.12

Scott finally gave me the okay to share photos from my visit on set back in February since this episode will be airing this Friday.

So here’s a shot of them on bikes.

"what am i doing? why am i here? am i making the right life choices that will lead to happiness in..."

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:32:42 -0400

“what am i doing? why am i here? am i making the right life choices that will lead to happiness in five years?”

- me while hunched over a smoldering pot of mac’n’cheese in 100 degree heat talking to myself about when i will watch a new episode of 48 hours

Cindy Sherman @ MoMA: I couldn’t figure out what was more...

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:22:21 -0400

Cindy Sherman @ MoMA: I couldn’t figure out what was more Cindy Sherman - the exhibit or the gaggle of Upper East Side Society types looking at the exhibit. There was something eerie about seeing these women with plastered make-up, tired eyes, and decked in finery looking on at abstractions of themselves. It was surreal and funny and upsetting. I suppose just how Cindy Sherman likes to make you feel.

Wanna get upset? Wanna get really really sick and...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 01:16:48 -0400

Wanna get upset? Wanna get really really sick and upset?

ladiesoftherevolution:

All these women saying “stirrups” and “gynecologists” and “clinics” and “Jewish.” AND then the V WORD. THE V WORD!!!! ICH! BLECH! I can barely look at mine! - Tara

Photo

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:20:52 -0400