I have been told this by many a girl. I LOVE YOU. Whether they loved, hated, or felt indifferently towards me. Whether drunk, high, or puking at the window of a cab. In a text, over brunch, on my Facebook wall. As a member of the society of girls, I have had the high pleasure of being told this by ladies who most certainly do not, nor will ever, love me.
Now, I know that “Shit White Girls Say” has already trode (making that a word- NOW) this hyperbolic ground but - ALLOW me to say the following: I don’t care if you do “love” me or just “like” me - but when someone says they LOVE me - 9 times out of ten - it feels great! Girls get all kinds of flack for over-emoting, over-emphasizing, going over-board: seeming fake. And I just want to be one voice that says: while I am smart enough to decipher real from fake, I’m also just needy enough to perk up when told I am loved. EVEN if it’s just a “<3 YOU. ” So YOU DO YOU girl-i-just-met-wearing-all-spanx-crying-about-ex-over-mimosa. I will proudly pose in as many pout-y pictures as your iPhone will hold.
The only people I don’t want to tell me that they “love me” are the homeless. All of them.
Today I was alerted to the term “human microphone” which at first glance made me think of “human centipede.” Upon closer investigation a human microphone is when people shout what you’ve said thus creating an artificial echo. Two things. 1) I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE IS A TERM FOR THAT! And! That the term has a wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_microphone. 2) This is a thing? I thought modern technology had already solved this grave problem.
“what am i doing? why am i here? am i making the right life choices that will lead to happiness in five years?”— me while hunched over a smoldering pot of mac’n’cheese in 100 degree heat talking to myself about when i will watch a new episode of 48 hours